Profiling the profile

Online dating no longer carries the stigma that it had a decade ago. Back then, online dating activities were kept on the down low. People who were on dating sites were embarrassed to admit that they were out of fear of being judged as desperate. Others stayed as far away as possible from said sites because of horror stories about creeps and unfortunate encounters.

Today is a totally different time. People are openly talking about their online dating experiences and we’re hearing more and more success stories – couples that met each other though apps and other kinds of services. Part of the reason for the diminishing stigma is the fact that you can now connect your online dating profile to your main social networking one, like Facebook. Services such as Tinder even pull information from your Facebook to help match you with potential dates.

That said, there are still creeps lurking around and it can’t be helped if we come across them once in a while. And one of the most effective ways, albeit not a foolproof one, is to have a very decent online dating profile. For hookup apps, of course, this is not the preferred route. On those services, people want to show off what they have (read: body parts) and talk about their sexual prowess. Finding “the one” is not a priority.

But if your goal is to meet the love of your life, a curated online persona is needed. And posting the right pictures is the first step to achieving this. We observe that on Tinder, a lot of people post a portrait as their main image, lifestyle-oriented ones to give potential dates a peek into their daily lives, and lots and lots of travel photos.

Personally, I don’t get travel photos. When I’m browsing through someone’s pictures, I’m really interested in seeing the different angles of their face. I want to see how they look like. Pictures are deceiving as we all probably know by now but six of them will at least give me some semblance of the truth behind the filters and color correction.

Then, we have the bio. Basic details are great because these are all checklist components. Some put the college they went to – and this is just an observation, but this seems to be more common among people who are from the University of Santo Tomas than any other university. I don’t know why but it just appears to be the case.

Also a frequently written word on the bio is “sapiosexual.” A sapiosexual person is someone who finds intelligence sexually attractive. That’s amazing, right? But I also notice that it’s the very people who put this in that are the ones who can’t carry a coherent and/or decent conversation. It’s always the self-proclaimed sapiosexual who will randomly say, “Wanna have sex?” Not generalizing, but trust me, that’s what happens and it’s quite a turn-off.

The profiles that attract me the most are those that don’t give out too much too soon. I don’t want to read your memoir. What are we going to talk about when we meet if I already know everything there is to know about you? I just want to be intrigued; interested enough to want to go out with you and find out more. I also want you to be a little bit sexy and flirtatious. If you can incorporate all those elements as concisely as possible and still manage to be mysterious like a river that runs deep, you have my attention. Let’s talk.


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